I had a déjà vu. When I arrived home in Rome at the end of July – after two months of travel and working really hard – I was super excited to start a month-long journey with my husband, having some ease, joy and glory together. V-A-C-A-T-I-O-N!
The last time we had so much time together was in the Spring of this year. Right before Easter, I reached home really looking forward to a 7-week journey with him. Our plan was to have 10 days in Rome and then travel to South Africa on safari for two weeks to celebrate our first 20 years of marriage.
This time, in August, our plan was to stay in Italy and enjoy this Italian lifestyle vacation: having fun in Rome with friends, before heading to the seaside to play tennis and hang out with the family a bit and go everyday to the beach together.
What do you know about projections and expectations?
Do we allow them to lead us down the road of separation, judgment and rejection?
Last time, in the Spring, on my first day home, we went on a motorbike ride in the morning through Rome. It’s called “a Roman ride”. Then my hubby went off to play tennis in the afternoon and we had planned an evening “Roman ride” later that day. The best-laid plans…
Instead of going out on an evening ride as planned, he came home in pain and was blocked on the couch with an ice pack on his right calf. He had hurt his leg while playing tennis. Oops! He went for two or three echographies and finally we discovered that what they had originally diagnosed as a pulled muscle turned out to be a venal thrombosis. This prevented him from being able to travel by plane for two months.
So, we had to cancel our anniversary trip to South Africa. No safari, no vacation. It was seven long weeks of nervousness and fear about the vein causing a cardiac arrest and perhaps killing him. Thankfully, that worked out well: he didn’t die, and now that venal thrombosis is gone.
This time, 3 months later, hubby was playing tennis, as my flight was landing in Rome. Our plan was that he would finish playing, stop to pick up some goodies for dinner, and get home in time to meet me with some fresh fish and yummy Italian white wine – the perfect way to celebrate the beginning of our Summer vacation together in our beautiful garden. We had dinner, alright, that’s a given in Italy, but it was not exactly what we expected.
You see, he got home a little later than expected, not because he had stopped to pick up something for dinner, but because he had spent an hour in the locker room at the tennis club with an ice pack on his ankle. He had twisted the ankle on his left leg. He spent the next few days busy trying to squeeze in an appointment for an echography.
That first night home, as I was putting ice on his ankle, I was EXHAUSTED, and he was in PAIN and SAD and CRANKY.
Let’s just say it was not exactly the start to the vacation that we were anticipating.
We started remembering last summer when he had a similar situation, during our vacation together in August at the seaside. He had been playing tennis and got an ankle injury, and had a few weeks of pain and suffering. We actually had to cut our vacation short.
That memory lead us to other memories. I remembered our very first vacation together, over 20 years prior, when I was still living in New York. Before getting on the plane to come see me, he hurt himself and came to New York limping with crutches!!! He too began remembering other times when his ankle or leg had been hurt around vacation time.
Hmmmm. Were we noticing a pattern here or were we feeding the fires of drama and trauma?
It’s so interesting how we start going back over the past, compiling data to come up with a decision: maybe vacation together is not such a healthy idea.
The funny thing is, this is not about me. Where is he in the equation? He is the one suffering, and all I could think about in those 10 seconds during that first night home was “WHY ME?“
Take a deep breath and count to ten.
The next morning, thanks to my positive nature, my years of living as the question and working with the tools of Access Consciousness, and, let’s face it, a good night’s sleep, we started off on a different foot, no pun intended.
I also (finally!) started using the tools of Access and asking lots of questions and opening up some different possibilities.
I did some energetic body work on his ankle, and, since he is admittedly an alchemist with his body, he started shifting stuff too in his mind and then body.
I asked these questions:
“What is right about this that I am not getting?”
“What is the lesson here?”
“What about him?”
“What energy, what space, what consciousness and what choice can I be and engage, that will create more here?”
“What if I was willing to go with the flow and truly allow ALL of life to come to me with ease and joy and glory?”
“Would that speed up the recovery? Or eliminate the drama and pain?”
It is so interesting how future projections can lead us down a road of blame, shame, regret, and guilt when it doesn’t turn out as we expect…
These are all the ways we are distracting ourselves from living in the present moment and moving forward and creating more, no matter what.
Is it our point of view, our perspective, that creates the reality that we live?
Do we allow our projections and expectations to influence how we see the world and live our lives?
Are we willing to always look on the bright side of life no matter what manifests in our lives?
Can we simply be grateful that we are still alive and able to have a perspective?
It truly is just a choice.
Kass Thomas
Kass Thomas
#kassthomas #7steps #createanewreality #life #change #choice #betterlife #nevergiveup #makeithappen #courage