How To Recover Yourself From an Undesirable Situation
Has an incident ever thrown you off your game completely?
Have you ever noticed how an incident or a conversation can throw you off track, scramble your head or make you feel discombobulated?
We experience reaction formation post this incident, and the feeling of confusion and panic is created. When we project our feelings into our reaction, we tend to create even more havoc.
This usually results in us entering or creating a situation that doesn’t reflect who we are, or what we desire out of this situation, and we move away from ourselves.
In simple terms:
Undesired Incident→ Discombobulated Feelings/Mind→ Unproductive Reaction→ Harmful Situation
Let’s look at an example.
Not very long ago, I went through a similar situation. Here is a breakdown of events:
Undesired Incident/Problem→
I had to change planes twice before reaching my destination in Canada. I had to travel from Rome to Amsterdam, Amsterdam to Toronto and then Toronto to Edmonton.
Upon reaching Toronto, I was told my bags were stuck in Amsterdam and would be delivered two days later to Edmonton.
Discombobulated Feelings/Mind→ Unproductive Reaction
I cried.
It was a beyonds moment- a moment where I felt beyond any control. It felt like there was a part of me crying, and there was another part of me that was shocked at my reaction, but still, completely out of control.
I proceeded to customs with no suitcases, and I was whining at the customs official like a child. I could still understand that what I was doing was ridiculous, but could not snap back into reasonable behaviour.
This undesirable reaction led to another undesirable reaction.
I decided I needed a smoke to calm down. I usually roll my own cigarettes, organic tobacco, which is often mistaken for marijuana in America.
As I was rolling my cigarette, crying, shivering and upset, I happened to notice a gentleman rolling weed just next to me and panicked again.
Now, pause. Let’s analyze this.
If I was my usual, calm self, not recently put off by my bags getting delayed, I would have calmly moved away, or remembered that marijuana is actually legal in Canada.Instead, I panicked and created even more confusion and havoc in my head, which would in no way be beneficial to my situation.
My mind jumped to the worst case scenario: “Oh great, now I’m going to get arrested with no bags or anything!”
Harmful Situation→
Now, let’s understand, there was not one, but two undesirable situations (one created by the other) that had thrown my off my game, and I was just not myself.
In this state of mind, I went inside and checked the screen for Edmonton. The gate was much further than I had thought previously, and they kept announcing, “Last call! Last call!”, which added further to my frenzy. As I arrived, all sweaty from rushing-
The attendance checks my ticket and declares, “This isn’t your flight.”
“What?! Not my flight?!” I exclaim.
So I checked my ticket again properly and sure enough, I was on a different flight. Same destination. Same time. Different airlines. Here was my ‘harmful’ situation.
I thought, there was no way I could get on that particular flight, and there were no other flights for my destination. In my head, I’m panicking, repeating- Oops. Oh NO! NOW WHAT?!
Solution→
After I repeated these words, I was just about to go into reaction formation AGAIN. This is when I laughed. This is when I realized, it is not me thinking this way. Two negative doom and gloom thoughts in a row (and another incoming) is a dead giveaway: This is not me.
I realized that instead of getting further and further away from me with each accumulating event, I needed to connect with myself again.
I literally said out loud: “Hold it! This is not me. This is not in line with who I am and what I desire. I’m going to change this now. Universe, please show me the magic?”
Ah! Finally, a space started opening up. I could even see clearer, and saw the monitors. I now realize, my flight gate was at the very location I was at when I started panicking to catch the wrong flight.
This made me laugh again.The Universe had been on my side this whole time, but I was so wrapped up in my bag loss and the marijuana scare, disconnected from me, that I was not even able to see the helping hand that was right in front of me
I ran all around the chicken house barn looking for what was right in front of me all along. Has that ever happened to you?
I knew at that point that I would make it. Even if I had to transmigrate, engage the elementals. I had reconnected with me and from that space anything was possible. I couldn’t go wrong.
So whether it is meditation or deep breathing, laughter, a walk in nature or a poc and pod, do whatever it takes, whatever works for you.
But make sure you are connected with you, before you begin interacting with others and creating reactions.
It will save you lots of strife and heartache and open up infinite possibilities.
Kass Thomas
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