Do You Have The Courage to Stop, Start, Continue or Change Your Life?

One of my most beloved topics of discussion- transforming you into the best version of you.
Before we begin, let’s consider this question- Does it take courage to change your life?

Changing yourself requires making a series of decisions that are not your default choices. If you have been living a certain way of life, your body and mind creates natural reactions to situations and people. Once you decide to change your life, you need to start consciously making decisions that are not natural, not automatic, and do not come with relative ease.
Courage is involved when we make choices that do not come to us with ease, so it is required when we decide to change our lives and transform us to the best possible version of us.

Like all changes, the first step is to recognize and be aware of when and if we must change the way we are living. How do we do that? These are some guiding questions that might be helpful-

  • Are you content and satisfied?
  • Do you feel that you are more present in your heart, or more present in your mind?
  • Are you constantly judging yourself and the choices you are making?

If you find yourself answering that you are content, that you choose with your heart over your mind, and that you are free from judgement, congratulations! You are doing awesome.
If not, then it is possible for you to get there, with a little self reflection and some courage.

Another way you know you need a change is when you are not a 100% convinced with the decision you are taking. If you have a choice to work with a poor home or work with a rich company, be sure to to make the choice you are convinced with. For example, if you choose to work with the poor, make sure it is the happiest poor home ever, and that you are doing your best to help them. Similarly, if you are not 100% convinced with a situation which could be a career, a relationship or even where to go for dinner, realize that you need to stop and think. What would it take to make a decision that you are a 100% convinced with?

But living your best  life does not just mean abandoning everything you have done so far, and what you practice presently. It means having the courage to be able to see your reality for what it is and make a choice to either Stop, Start, Continue or Change your life.

  1. Stopping
    When we are in a motion, we find it difficult to stop, look around and observe.Reviewing a situation is hard, because it creates the possibility of a bad review. As individuals, we want to have faith in the choice we took earlier that has led us to be where we are today. But we must find the courage to stop and look around.
    Is the choice we made earlier benefiting us now?
    Can we be in a better place?

    Asking these questions helps us to avoid being at the end of the road, our shoulders heavy with the weight of the dreadful “What If?”
  2. Starting
    Starting something new requires courage and faith. It requires us to begin, and be ready for the possibility of stopping if the situation is not favourable any longer.
  3. Continue
    Sometimes, it is easier for us to drop what we are currently doing, because it seems harder at the moment. We need to realise that a hard choice right now could lead to a beautiful life in the near future.
  4. Change
    To change does not mean to change completely. We must realise the aspects of our life that require change, and those that need to be left untouched. Our lives are a series and mixture of choices that lead to the grand result. Choose that permutation of decisions that leads you to the result where you are the best version that you could be of yourself.

It is also important to remember that transforming your life is a gradual process that is the result and sum of smaller choices. Every little thing adds up to make a grand change. All we need to do is review the universe for all the opportunities it offers us. If you see an opening you like, go and grab it. Find what inspires you to not just exist but truly live.

Kass Thomas

#kassthomas #7steps #empoweringpeople #changetracks #communication #respect #ease #delightful #win #businessempowerment #createanewreality #loveyourselfmore #makeithappen #courage #change #life #betterlife #nevergiveup #love #happy #business #success #beyourself

Do You Love You?

This is a question that we are not often asked.

We are asked: Do you love your friends, your family? Do you love what you do? Do you love your country?

But rarely does anyone ever ask us the most important question of all:
Do YOU love YOU?
Most of us don’t even consider this question because we have handed over the power of validating ourselves to other people. We don’t recognize the importance of acknowledging ourselves. We think we have to do more, or be more, or that we are not ENOUGH. What if “not enough” was irrelevant when it comes to loving you?
More and more people are waking up to the awareness that loving themselves is the starting point for being happy in this life. When we are functioning from a place of loving ourselves, interestingly, it becomes much easier to love and appreciate other people. We become grateful for everyone and everything around us. Without this, one cannot find the peace and calm, the motivation, the kindness, and the support that is all-important to being truly happy in your life.
And it’s funny how we tend to treat others better than we treat ourselves. Usually, we are more kind, warm, helpful and patient with others than we are with ourselves. Many times, however, we hope that in doing this, they will acknowledge us and be kind to us in return. But with these expectations, in reality, we are giving to others the control and power over something that only we can truly have full claim to: 
the ability to recognize and be kind to ourselves.
It is because we deserve it, just by being who we are and not because of something we have said or done.
Loving oneself is not essential to life, like eating or breathing, where if you abandon these activities, you cease to exist. However, it does make everything you do considerably better and more fun. If you love yourself, you breathe easier, eat better, sing and dance better, and lastly, love others with more ease. Finally, loving you allows you to love and appreciate other people regardless of what they say or do. 
Now, all this begs the question: How do I reach that place where I love me, recognize me and am grateful for me?
Well, the first step to this (and with many things in your life) is to look inside yourself and find out who you are.
The best way to appreciate something is if you are willing to see the value of it. We would not ask a man from the stone age his opinion on which mobile phone is the best because he would have no idea what it is and therefore not see any value in it!!
We too have this tendency to discard or not recognize things we don’t know exist. If we don’t know it exists, we don’t see it as valuable. So, the first step in recognizing your value is:
Familiarize yourself with who you are, connect with you, acknowledge you and you will begin to see the value in you.
However, if you are at a point where you don’t easily see what is valuable about you or you think NOTHING about you is valuable, then stop for a moment and acknowledge one thing:
As a human being on this planet, I can assure you that there is NO ONE on the planet that does YOU better than YOU. You are unique and the best version of YOU that exists.
This quality alone makes you SPECIAL and valuable and deserving of appreciation, gratitude, and care. If you are willing to acknowledge that about you, it will expand your reality and set your life on a different track. Are you willing?
How do you change tracks? All you need to do is open up your eyes. That’s right, simply open your eyes, look around you and acknowledge your current reality. (If you don’t like the reality you see, the possibility exists that you can CHANGE IT). Once you have acknowledged you and your reality, you can start to choose what brings you joy, inspires you and the things you love doing that vitalize you. So, what are the things that bring you joy?
What are the things that inspire you and you love doing? What are those unique qualities that you have?
You can find the answers to these questions by doing these three things: 1. Look inside 2. Observe 3. Step Into the acknowledgment
Look Inside – take a look at your life, Try to focus more on ‘what makes me happy’, as opposed to what makes other people happy. Granted, sometimes others being happy makes you happy, but the truth is, it all starts with you. Recognize what unique capacities you have that make you (and others) happy.
Observe – look at your actions and reactions When you are looking at what makes you happy, SEE and NOTE those happy moments and recognize what it is that you do (and usually they come so easily to you that you don’t even see it). When do enjoy yourself, enjoy interacting with others, what is it that brings you joy about those moments and what contribution are YOU BEING to them that makes them occur?
Then observe those moments when you are NOT so happy. Perhaps when you are feeling stressed, or under pressure. How do you act when there is a deadline to adhere to, for example? How do you react in a pressurized situation? How do you behave when you are on a stage, or in a position where you are receiving a lot of attention? Now, note them and thank them for the gift they are so you can learn something about you.
Step Into the acknowledgment – appreciate the qualities of those you love and acknowledge them for their brilliance. Being an individual, it is hard to view ourselves objectively. The best way to find out which qualities are pleasant and which ones are not is to observe and note the actions and reactions of others. Notice how they make you feel and recognize which qualities in others make you react favorably and imitate them (such as generosity). You notice these qualities in others that you are and many times you never acknowledge YOURSELF for doing them as they are usually the easiest thing for you to do so you place no value in them. Interesting, no?
Lastly, recognize which qualities in others that do not bring out the best in you, acknowledge and thank them for bringing you this awareness of things that do not contribute to your life.
So, figure yourself out, (look inside), and appreciate things that you like about yourself and others (observe) and acknowledging them. Now CHOOSE (step into this awareness) those qualities you’ve identified that bring you joy, make you happy and have you loving you.
Please don’t ignore this. Choose to use this to create a better life for yourself.
Many times, all the things that we become aware of can conjure up thoughts, feelings, emotions or judgments in us. But please remember, it is just an interesting point of view that you have. Is it real? Is it? It is about choice. Choice that is the key. We can choose possibilities that are nutrient to us and incorporate them into our lives. In this way, this knowledge expands beyond just us – it touches others too. When things benefit you, helps you love you, it benefits others as well, which makes us happy all around.
CHOOSE – to do things and invite people and behaviors into your life that encourage you to love you. Think of people you enjoy being around, things you love doing, activities you enjoy doing, songs you love singing. And don’t forget your body – move your body more and let it know that you love it too! A person who loves themselves exudes a special kind of energy and invites more love not only into their world but also into the world of everyone around them. And that is the true gift of this. Acknowledge yourself, love yourself and bring this love to others and the world around you!
When you love you, you change the world.

Kass Thomas

#kassthomas #7steps #empoweringpeople #changetracks #communication #respect #ease #delightful #win #businessempowerment #createanewreality #loveyourselfmore #makeithappen #courage #change #life #betterlife #nevergiveup #love #happy #business #success #beyourself

Do You Have The Courage To Be Afraid?

This word is just about the best compliment one can receive regarding their character. It is a skill, an ability that was needed in the past, that is needed now, and will forever be needed by all animals and elements alike to truly achieve greatness.

But what is courage? What does it really mean?
To me, courage is a subjective term.
Some time ago, I moved to Italy, uprooted my life to begin again here. For most people, moving to a new country, changing my career, my lifestyle, the people I frequented (and not having enough money!), was a brave thing. For me, it was a choice, and not a difficult one. So in this particular instance, I was courageous in the eyes of others, but in my eyes, it had nothing to do with courage.

So you see, we have courage in two parts:
  1. When we are courageous in our own eyes
  2. When we are courageous in the eyes of others

For all intents and purposes, the first one is the one that holds weight, as the most important opinion you should value is your own.

When we are courageous to ourselves, or for ourselves, we have been honest with ourselves about what is easy for us, and what isn’t. To be courageous is to go beyond yourself, to achieve something extraordinary.

When we are courageous in the eyes of others, a choice which comes with ease and is in the natural flow of things to us will seem like a huge effort to others, as they are viewing it from their own perspective and not yours. We are all different people. What is easy for you might be hard for others and vice versa.

Like all abilities, courage is developed, nurtured, created, and may even be destroyed and recreated. When we are born we have raw courage – untouched by human experiences. As we go on with life, accumulating scars, victories, and knowledge, we unlearn and relearn courage to best suit ourselves and the circumstances we put ourselves in.

It is a broad topic, and we can talk circles around the possibilities and opportunities of courage. But there are aspects that will help us understand it better, and learn to use it better in our lives.

  1. Honesty
    One of the values embedded in a courageous person is honesty. Honestly with self and others alike aids you in understanding your own capabilities, and what is a brave act for you, and what isn’t. You must be honest with yourself about what you want to actually achieve and then go and get it.
    We must view situations as they are, and not as we think they are. Facing the reality of the situation is so important when choosing a path in life that leads to the best of you. We must learn to be present, and not inject past and future projections of our experiences and expectations, but just be in the moment and see it for what it is. We also need to remove any judgments and subjectivity from the way we view things. To be able to look at the situation from each person’s point of view, to be truly empathetic, is a true skill that leads to making courageous choices, as it leads us to the choice that creates happiness for everyone.

    We must also be honest with others in order to practice courage.
    How do we encourage others to be courageous through honesty?
    Be completely you with others, so they see an example of how possible it is to make better choices, to make braver choices when you are being honestly you.
  2. Being Free of Judgement
    Much easier said than done, once we rid ourselves of making judgments, it will be much easier to practice courage. For this, we must make a clear distinction between judgment and observation. We observe what is present, but we judge based on past implications.
    When we judge, we are lying to ourselves. This leads to us choosing something that will not be best for us, or for others.

    And it is not just our judgments that affect our choices, but others’ judgments as well.

    What is courage viewed as in society?
    Courage is determined by other people’s judgments. What our society judges to be courageous, we accept as a brave act, Going back to when I moved to Italy and transformed my life, others perceived it to be brave, while I felt it was a natural and ease-filled choice for me. If I had allowed other people’s judgments to influence my choice, I may have never moved. But instead, at that moment, I removed the effect of other people’s judgments about my actions and choices and saw the situation for what it really was: a choice which came with ease and was in the natural flow of things for me.

    We must also accept when we are not making a choice that is brave. Learning from a situation that has gone differently than you hoped it would is also a courageous choice. We must gain the knowledge to choose differently when faced with a similar situation, and not be forced into a default reaction.

So courage, in the end, is just what you think it is. It is present and embedded in ourselves and the situations we create for ourselves. All we need to do is grab it.

Kass Thomas

#kassthomas #7steps #createanewreality #life #change #choice #empoweringpeople  #communication #betterlife #newreality #courage #nevergiveup

How Well Do You Know Yourself?

As human beings, we tend to make judgments about the world. The world is viewed and interpreted by you based upon your own imagination and understanding of what you perceive it to be. You are perceived by people in a similar way.

But have you ever directed this unique, personally curated lens upon yourself?

What I have found is that most of us have a distorted and unrealistic view of who we really are. We look at who we are masked by a film of judgment and insecurity. This is especially true when we consider our “inabilities or weaknesses”.

But before I continue, let me state one thing: it is important to understand that we as human beings are always looking for validation or acceptance. We might be looking for it from our peer, our family, our boss, etc., but the one person that we need it the most from is ourselves.

OK, now let us concentrate on our inabilities and weaknesses. We tend to have more compassion and objectivity for other people’s inabilities and weaknesses than our own.

One of the reasons that comes to mind is that we are more emotionally involved (those feelings) when it comes to ourselves. Criticism is hard on us, we get defensive and feel badly about our inabilities and our weakness, they make us feel less than or worthless.

From my experience in team building training for project development in my Dancing with Riches workshops, I realized people often don’t want to acknowledge areas that they are not skilled in, they consider it a weakness in themselves. They think that if they acknowledge “these

inabilities” they are feeding the flame of their weakness. That is simply not true!
Knowledge about yourself, both what you are good and not so good at is extremely useful. As it allows you to always find the path to overcome your weaknesses.
So, this is the part that may “blow your mind”:
If you are not willing acknowledge and have the awareness of the areas you consider yourself to have “inabilities or weakness in” then you are resisting the knowledge of what you are good at.
Yup. That is correct.
This resistance doesn’t allow you space and time to work on enhancing the skills you DO have. Instead, people try to figure out how they can improve the skills they are weak at or acquire skills they don’t possess. They become so busy trying to better these things that they skip right over the knowledge of what they are great at and the possibility of becoming even better at it.
You literally deny yourself space to PRACTICE what you are good at and become an expert.

Let’s say, for example, you’re a sculpture and want a website of your work and who you are. You hire consults to construct a website as you know nothing about. However, you must now write something about yourself and there is a deadline. Perhaps writing is not something you do well. You struggle at this task, judging yourselves, attempting to write a biography, but it just doesn’t work (a weakness). You keep doing it and doing it attempting to improve. How much time and awareness are you spending on this (perhaps up to 80%)? How much of that time and energy is left available for the things you are good at, known and unknown (perhaps 20%)?
You see, if you had asked someone else to do this task (write), this would allow you the time to produce more sculptures, take amazing photos of your work, meet potential buyers, or perhaps investigate that silly idea your friend has about you having a good business sense (yes, however, I am an artist) and getting other artist together to form a cooperative and a gallery and then who knows the possibilities…

The resistance to acknowledging the things you are not good at, and accepting their so-called weaknesses, does not allow you to receive the information about what you are good at, your strengths.

Think about this:

What if recognizing what you are not good at is a strength?

The funny thing is if you think about it, it’s all just information. Being willing to recognize where you might not be at the top of your game is useful information and affords you two great gifts:

1. KNOWLEDGE​- If you don’t have full and complete knowledge about yourself, you cannot employ all your abilities and skills to their fullest potential​. In addition, this would allow you the understanding of what kind of people and talents are compatable with you, a contribution to you, and nutrient to you that would assist you in your life and business. What this means is “What qualities are you going to look for in someone or something that will add to your life?”.

2. PRACTICE​-. This allows you to focus your attention on those areas you are good in and gives you time and space (if you’re willing) to explore them in more depth, to accentuate the positive.

Again, if we don’t have the knowledge of ourselves, and the practice of being who we are, we cannot function to the best of our abilities.

So now is the time to start saying hello to your inabilities and weakness and see how they can contribute to your life.

What have you decided is a weakness to eliminate that if you would embrace it instead would become a strength or contribute to your strength?

Kass Thomas

#kassthomas #7steps #createanewreality #life #change #choice #empoweringpeople  #communication #betterlife #newreality #beyourself